Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Boy”. I call mine “S.E.X.” Now, S.E.X. has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for S.E.X. He said, “I’d like to have one too.” Then I said, “but this is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand, I’ve had S.E.X. since I was nine years old.” He said I must have been quite a kid!
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for S.E.X. He said that every room in the place was for s.e.x. I said, “You don’t understand, S.E.X. keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too”.
One day I entered S.E.X in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking around. I told him I had planned to have S.E.X. in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have S.E.X. on T.V.” He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your honor, I had S.E.X. before I was married.” The judge said, “Me too.” Then I told him that after I was married, S.E.X. left me. He said “Me too.”
Last night S.E.X. ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I said, “I am looking for S.E.X.”